Compromised


I thought I'd gotten over my fear of you.

Don't get me wrong, you're still the most fucked individual I know,

And I know quite a few you fucked/up yourself,

But I still thought I had.


I knew I'd gotten over my fear of you.

Even though I watched his eyes get dim as you bled his life away.

Even though there were entire days that I couldn't walk.

I still thought I had.


Turns out, my fears are

The fine lines you get from laughing

That you don't let anyone but me see you get,

The way you know just what I'm thinking

Even if I haven't even thought it yet,

The softening of your voice when it's just us,

And your smirk that greets my rage.

It's the tightening in my chest when we touch,

And the cold metal bars to this cage.


My fears are gasps,

Emotions left unchecked,

My mind as it comes untethered

And runs away with you 


How silly to think that I could ever fear you.

There's nothing you could do

That my mind hasn't already tortured me with the idea of.

I may think of you as my personal hell,

But I built it myself.


We've painted our own cages, you and I

Trapped of our own devise

How useless to blame you

For a mind this compromised


04/2021

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